Something's Been Outside My Door For Months

I've got a pumpkin outside my door. It's been there for months.

It's a medium-sized white one. I got it from Fred Meyer, along with two smaller orange ones, the week before Halloween. I carved the two little ones into jack-o-lanterns: one with a silly grin, one like a dog. I put paper bags under each so the rough concrete of my doorstep wouldn't damage them.

Unlike last year, we had trick-or-treaters this year. I put candles in the little jack-o-lanterns on one side, and the white pumpkin sat one the other. I wasn't sure what to do with the whole mask thing, so what I did was I put a bowl of candy outside the door, waited inside the door, and opened peep-holes in the door to go "ooOOooOOOO!" when trick-or-treaters actually arrived. The smallest kids didn't even look around to see where it was coming from. The bigger ones did, though. "I don't know what you're supposed to be and you're not scary!" they said. "ooOOooOOOO!" I said back at them, sticking my fingers out the peephole.

My son's rather protective of the candy, but he was OK with the trick-or-treaters this year. He'd go out and drop a pebble down the storm grate then come in and snag some candy along the way. He and the trick-or-treaters avoided each other. When he was inside and the trick-or-treaters came and I went "ooOOooOOO!", he'd snag extra candy from the spare candy bags I had inside.

The day after Halloween Haggens was giving away pumpkins free, so my son and I went and picked up two big ones. I put those outside the door too, five pumpkins now. My son went out with a carving knife and stabbed all of them, including the white one. I think he wanted them carved. "That was a bad thing to do," I told him, "now they're all going to rot within a few days. Hum. Should I carve one now then?"

"Ca"

So I did, and it turned out the one I picked was already rotting anyhow. Almost put my thumb through it. I carved a big gaping grin, with big eyes, all strategically placed to try to carve away all the rot.

It looked good! I put candles in it and the two little ones the night after Halloween, just to be festive.

All the carved ones rotted within a week, and I dropped them in the yard waste bin.

The other big one I bought lasted two weeks longer, but then it started getting big soft spots too, so it also went in the yard waste bin, and its paper bag too.

But the white one, it's still there. Despite having been stabbed months ago. It's going to rot. Any day now. But, not yet, it seems.

Maybe I should put a santa hat on it.


This was in response to a prompt on reddit.com r/WritingPrompts: "There is something outside of your door. It's been there for months."


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