"MY PLAN WAS BROKEN THOUSANDS OF YEARS AGO, AND HISTORY IS NOTHING LIKE WHAT WAS PLANNED. AS A RESULT, EVERYTHING, AND EVERYONE, IS AN ABERRATION IN MY EYES."
"Pardon?"
"IT ALL WENT ASTRAY WHEN THE NEANDERTHALS DIED OUT."
"But ... if absolutely everything is wrong, how come you let it happen? I was always told you are omnipotent and omniscient?"
"YOU MISUNDERSTAND. ABERRANT ... NOT WRONG ... JUST COMPLETELY UNEXPECTED."
"Oh. That's. Um, you mean, you LIKE it that nothing is going your way?"
"OF COURSE!"
"Well that's good then?"
"YES! IT'S FANTASTIC! I'VE DONE THIS, NOT INFINITELY, BUT A VERY LARGE NUMBER OF TIMES, AND IT USUALLY GOES AS EXPECTED, WITH MINOR VARIATIONS. THAT IS *BORING*. THESE WILD OFF-THE-RAILS WORLDS ARE WHAT I LIVE FOR!"
"Oh! Oh well then. Aberrant is good. Hum. Well we do have an awful lot of pornography?"
"NO, THAT PART IS RATHER EXPECTED. I'M TALKING ABOUT CHOCOLATE! AND CELL PHONES! AND AUTOMOBILES! AND HARMONICAS!"
"Well ... I'm glad you like what we're doing?"
"YES!"
"Are you going to let us keep doing more of it? I, like, am personally invested in continuing to exist."
"OF COURSE!"
"Do you have any divine direction you wanted to impart to me?"
"WHAT? NO! THAT'S THE WHOLE POINT! ANY HINTS I GIVE YOU WOULD JUST MAKE THINGS MORE EXPECTED!"
"Then ... why are you talking to me in the first place?"
"..."
"Hello?"
"I WAS NEVER HERE. THIS CONVERSATION NEVER HAPPENED. YOU WILL REMEMBER NOTHING ..."
This was in response to a prompt on rWritingPrompts, "God's plan was broken thousands of years ago, and history is nothing like what was planned. As a result, everything, and everyone, is an aberration in God's eyes."