Ambassador

The messenger had given me a bus ticket in heaven. To get to hell, I had to transfer buses in purgatory. There was a little sign at the transfer station saying the bus transfer tickets were in this building over there, so I went in.

The official asked for my passport, stamped it. Asked if I had any valuables to declare.

"Just this flaming sword of righteousness," I said.

He examined it, said he needed to get it inspected by his higher ups. He went in the back. I waited.

A little while later I saw him out the window walking, carrying my sword and a leg of ham. He got in a Yugo and drove off. I started wondering whether he was supposed to do that.

Then the purgatory cops came in the door. "Hey, this is official property!" they yelled. "It's supposed to be closed at this hour! Who are you? What are you doing here?"

I checked my pockets, but they were empty now. The official had taken my ID. I tried to explain I was an ambassador being sent by God on an important mission to hell, and was trying to get a bus transfer.

"Yeah, yeah, tell it to the judge," they said. "Breaking and entering. We're sending you to hell!"

"But wait, I need my passport and flaming sword!" I said.

"Yeah, yeah, like we're going to fall for THAT."

Well ... hell is where I'm suppose to be going anyhow, I guess.


This was in response to a prompt on reddit.com r/WritingPrompts, "Due to the incredibly high influx into hell, Lucifer has God send him an inquisitor to deal with the problem. A messenger is sent to heaven to bring archangel Gabriel down to hell. But instead of the mighty angel be taken down to hell, the messenger accindentaly takes you, someone inexperienced".


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