More Punnable Month Names

"Pearls Before Swine" on July 10 2021 pointed out January, February, Sepetember, October, November, December are too distinctive fit into stupid dad jokes. This is a disservice to dads everywhere, and the English-speaking world at large.

This could be corrected by borrowing better month names from nearby languages. For example:

January

Leden (Czech). The leaden Leden sky hangs over the frozen landscape, with trees heavily laden with snow.

February

Luti (Polish). Luti's for luthiers. Absoluti no loony lewdy Luti jokes.

September

Zari (Czech). Zari's bizarrely a good month to marry and have your anniverzari.

October

Ziyen (Czech). See yun in Ziyen. Bring zee hen.

November

Zowmen (Irish). Some men, like Sam, ain' fond of Zowmen. (Samhain is one of the holidays Halloween is based on.)

December

Noluck (Irish). I'm having no luck coming up with Noluck jokes.

Perhaps there are better names than those. But anything's better than "December". Heck, December seems to mean "the tenth month" in Latin, and it's actually the twelfth month. The current situation is as bad as if we had named the letters of the alphabet "thethirdletter" for a, "thefourthletter" for b, and so on. And, instead of naming July and August "Quintember" and "Sextember", they named them after respected Roman emperors.

Bob Predicts the Future

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